There was the day, for example, when I received a telephone call from a lady who claimed that Native Americans had surrounded her house and were shooting arrows at her. Living in Oklahoma, members of this population group are residents, but I’m sure they do not attack homes.

The caller reported that she could actually hear the hoofs of their horses on her roof. For this resident, the local police department rode in and saved the day.

Almost Normal

In the 42 years I’ve spent working in local government as city clerk/treasurer and city manager, the encounters with Bizarro World have been almost as frequent as in the Superman comic books.

While working as city manager of Ada, Oklahoma, there was a man who visited my office often and would discuss his belief that his life and mine were somehow destined to intertwine.

He was a mysterious person and impressed upon me that he wasn’t to be taken lightly. Again, police department detectives checked out his infatuation with me. They watched him for a period of time and became suspicious of his intentions.

One evening they found him lying on top of his pickup truck and camper, fully camouflaged and ready for action with a large hunting knife. We weren’t sure what enemy he was expecting; but this incident gave us an opportunity to get a search warrant for his house.

What we found surprised even his relatives who lived in a nearby town. His living room had been totally excavated into a giant foxhole. He had various weapons scattered throughout his house—none of them thank goodness of the ammunition variety.

This man had army-type clothing and camouflage materials. In other words, he was ready for a war of some type. I sincerely hope I wasn’t destined to be one of his targets.

Almost Comic-al

Bizarro World includes characters that mean well but are slightly misguided. “Merry Christmas, Tony. When are you going to pick up my trash” was an actual phone call received at my home one Christmas morning at 7 a.m. The caller said: “My water bill can’t be right. I only take a bath when my wife does, and I use the same water.”

Another caller had this to say: “Please let my dog out of the pound. He only bites relatives.” Staff members who worked with me just weren’t sure how the dog knew who his owner’s family members were and who weren’t, but maybe it was by smell.

And I expect that other managers have experienced similar stories in their Bizarro Worlds; however, we are true super heroes, and we know how to deal with strange experiences. As we find out, we have to go into the phone booth and quickly turn from a Clark Kent to Superman.

There’s always a chance, of course, that someone will come up with some kryptonite and try to hurt us, but we always come out on top just like the comic book Superman.

My Super Story

Here’s one final funny story. Once there was a rumor started in a city far far away that the local city manager was meeting a certain young lady frequently at a restaurant just outside of town. This was started by a group of “concerned citizens” unhappy with the town’s trash collection system.

They were absolutely right. That city manager (yes, it was me) was indeed having an affair. It was with an extremely lovely lady—my wife!

I hope my management colleagues’ jobs also give them some great stores to tell.